Lesson 40: Cheapskating Couples Part 1
I'm sure you've all heard of the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Well I think men aren't just from another planet, they are a completely different species. Men think we women are hard to understand - they should try living with themselves and working on the family finances!
All joking aside, men and women do think differently and have different perceptions on the importance of things in our lives.
I found this list, from the book "Men Are Like Waffles - Women Are Like Spaghetti" and it gives a humorous, although true, insight into the workings of the male and female minds.
All joking aside, men and women do think differently and have different perceptions on the importance of things in our lives.
I found this list, from the book "Men Are Like Waffles - Women Are Like Spaghetti" and it gives a humorous, although true, insight into the workings of the male and female minds.
Communication
Communication is vital in relationships, especially when it comes to the finances. Don't think that your partner or spouse is on the same page with you - sit down and talk about how you manage the money and make sure you both know exactly how the money will be managed. It won't be easy, but if you are struggling to save money, pay down debt and build a solid financial base for the future it's a conversation that needs to be had sooner rather than later.
Setting Boundaries
The aim of this week's lesson is to make sure as a couple you are on the same page as your partner, it is not intended to cause friction, fights or fits. So, in the interest of keeping everyone happy, boundaries need to be set:
*Avoid negativity
*Avoid condescension
*No interruptions when he or she is talking - you can jot down a note to discuss later
*No name calling, you are grown-ups, not children
*No throwing food (or anything else), again, you are grown-ups, not monkeys
*No unanswerable questions
*And most importantly - set a time limit - start with 15 minutes and increase it if you think you need to as you progress. Remember, you can do anything for 15 minutes (except hold your breath, and no one is asking you to do that).
The First Session
Begin by saying something affirming. Research indicates that men have different needs to women (that really required research?), and the number one need is to be respected. Let your affirmation be something like "I respect your opinion and I believe we can work through our money issues".
Research also shows that for women the number one need is to feel loved (again, this took research to figure out?) so a husband might tell his wife "I love you and I'm committed to talking about our finances and working together to get them straight" or similar.
If you are really angry with your partner about your financial situation, finding something affirming to say might be difficult. Resort to "I've always liked your eyes" if you have to.
Before we go any further, you need to understand that this won't work if you really aren't committed. You need to decide that you are tire of fighting about money and today you will discuss living within your Spending Plan, saving, paying down debt, not incurring any new debt and not living from pay packet to pay packet.
This is the week you make a firm commitment to living the Cheapskates way as a couple, and finally getting your finances into good shape - as a couple.
This Week's Challenge: Use this week's 15 minutes to select your financial topic (debt, Spending Plan, Emergency Fund, saving, Peace of Mind account). Once you've chosen your topic, make up your mind about what you hope to accomplish. Note it in your financial notebook and refer to it through the week, making notes of your thoughts and actions.
Communication is vital in relationships, especially when it comes to the finances. Don't think that your partner or spouse is on the same page with you - sit down and talk about how you manage the money and make sure you both know exactly how the money will be managed. It won't be easy, but if you are struggling to save money, pay down debt and build a solid financial base for the future it's a conversation that needs to be had sooner rather than later.
Setting Boundaries
The aim of this week's lesson is to make sure as a couple you are on the same page as your partner, it is not intended to cause friction, fights or fits. So, in the interest of keeping everyone happy, boundaries need to be set:
*Avoid negativity
*Avoid condescension
*No interruptions when he or she is talking - you can jot down a note to discuss later
*No name calling, you are grown-ups, not children
*No throwing food (or anything else), again, you are grown-ups, not monkeys
*No unanswerable questions
*And most importantly - set a time limit - start with 15 minutes and increase it if you think you need to as you progress. Remember, you can do anything for 15 minutes (except hold your breath, and no one is asking you to do that).
The First Session
Begin by saying something affirming. Research indicates that men have different needs to women (that really required research?), and the number one need is to be respected. Let your affirmation be something like "I respect your opinion and I believe we can work through our money issues".
Research also shows that for women the number one need is to feel loved (again, this took research to figure out?) so a husband might tell his wife "I love you and I'm committed to talking about our finances and working together to get them straight" or similar.
If you are really angry with your partner about your financial situation, finding something affirming to say might be difficult. Resort to "I've always liked your eyes" if you have to.
Before we go any further, you need to understand that this won't work if you really aren't committed. You need to decide that you are tire of fighting about money and today you will discuss living within your Spending Plan, saving, paying down debt, not incurring any new debt and not living from pay packet to pay packet.
This is the week you make a firm commitment to living the Cheapskates way as a couple, and finally getting your finances into good shape - as a couple.
This Week's Challenge: Use this week's 15 minutes to select your financial topic (debt, Spending Plan, Emergency Fund, saving, Peace of Mind account). Once you've chosen your topic, make up your mind about what you hope to accomplish. Note it in your financial notebook and refer to it through the week, making notes of your thoughts and actions.