Lesson 41: Cheapskating Couples Part 2
What is it about money that causes waves in relationships? Research shows that money causes tension in 7 out of 10 couples, and is the main cause of arguments and disagreements. Being able to discuss money, how you handle it, what you expect from it, what you want to do with it and the most important, how much you have, without anger, frustration or condemnation is essential.
It usually takes more than one partner to get a couple into financial strife. They don't both have to be spending, one can be spending and the other can be ignoring the out-of-control or over-spending of the other. Ignoring the problem is just as destructive to your finances and your relationship as the over-spending is.
Last week you had a conversation, full of affirmations, and chose a financial topic to work on together. Hopefully you've agreed on that and decided what you are going to accomplish together.
This week it's more of the same, or more of working together to reach your financial goals. It's time to write down your goals on paper (use your financial notebook). Research shows that only 80% of goals are ever reached. People give up because it's too hard or they put off working on their goals until another day (another day never comes), or they think they'll start tomorrow, and tomorrow they think they'll be ready to start tomorrow (and tomorrow is another day that never comes).
When you set your goal, did you make sure it was something you both want? It is so much easier to aim for something you want. You'll find you won't be procrastinating, but eager to get going and reach that goal.
Decide, with your partner, what you want to accomplish with this goal. Talk about how you what you would like to see accomplished in three months and what the final outcome of reaching your goal will be.
Having this conversation gives you both a temporary focus (today), a long-term focus (for the next three months) and a big picture (for the long-term). Use your financial notebook to make notes about what you want and hope to accomplish.
Your goals will depend of course on the topic you chose last week. If you are discussing your Spending Plan for example, your goals may include working out a detailed Spending Plan, ensuring it is realistic and workable, and staying on budget for the next 90 days so you learn a new habit: living within your means.
Then you are to go flat out for the next 90 days, focused on your goal. Don't worry about the other things on your list, you'll get to them soon enough. Concentrate on just one goal for now. Give it all the two of you have and aim for success.
Goal setting is an art. To be successful you need to have a plan. Here are some tips to help you get started:
•Plan your goals for 3 months only. It takes 3 weeks (21 consecutive days of the same action) to establish a habit. If you can make it 3 months, you will have changed your life!
•Make your goals as specific as possible.
•Make your goals "action oriented".
•Write your goals down and put them where you will see them, on the bathroom mirror perhaps?
•Become accountable. Book a time each week when you can report to each other, this will help to keep you on track. If you have to tell your partner whether or not you're on track, you are more likely to stay focused.
•Break large goals down into smaller, more achievable goals. Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day.
•Keep on setting goals. Don't stop once you have reached your first goal set another one and keep on striving to meet them.
Lesson 41 Challenge: Make a map of how you are going to reach your goal, with the date you plan to reach this goal in big letters at the top. Put it somewhere you can both see it regularly. Break it down into steps, and as you accomplish each step mark it off with a big red texta.
It usually takes more than one partner to get a couple into financial strife. They don't both have to be spending, one can be spending and the other can be ignoring the out-of-control or over-spending of the other. Ignoring the problem is just as destructive to your finances and your relationship as the over-spending is.
Last week you had a conversation, full of affirmations, and chose a financial topic to work on together. Hopefully you've agreed on that and decided what you are going to accomplish together.
This week it's more of the same, or more of working together to reach your financial goals. It's time to write down your goals on paper (use your financial notebook). Research shows that only 80% of goals are ever reached. People give up because it's too hard or they put off working on their goals until another day (another day never comes), or they think they'll start tomorrow, and tomorrow they think they'll be ready to start tomorrow (and tomorrow is another day that never comes).
When you set your goal, did you make sure it was something you both want? It is so much easier to aim for something you want. You'll find you won't be procrastinating, but eager to get going and reach that goal.
Decide, with your partner, what you want to accomplish with this goal. Talk about how you what you would like to see accomplished in three months and what the final outcome of reaching your goal will be.
Having this conversation gives you both a temporary focus (today), a long-term focus (for the next three months) and a big picture (for the long-term). Use your financial notebook to make notes about what you want and hope to accomplish.
Your goals will depend of course on the topic you chose last week. If you are discussing your Spending Plan for example, your goals may include working out a detailed Spending Plan, ensuring it is realistic and workable, and staying on budget for the next 90 days so you learn a new habit: living within your means.
Then you are to go flat out for the next 90 days, focused on your goal. Don't worry about the other things on your list, you'll get to them soon enough. Concentrate on just one goal for now. Give it all the two of you have and aim for success.
Goal setting is an art. To be successful you need to have a plan. Here are some tips to help you get started:
•Plan your goals for 3 months only. It takes 3 weeks (21 consecutive days of the same action) to establish a habit. If you can make it 3 months, you will have changed your life!
•Make your goals as specific as possible.
•Make your goals "action oriented".
•Write your goals down and put them where you will see them, on the bathroom mirror perhaps?
•Become accountable. Book a time each week when you can report to each other, this will help to keep you on track. If you have to tell your partner whether or not you're on track, you are more likely to stay focused.
•Break large goals down into smaller, more achievable goals. Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day.
•Keep on setting goals. Don't stop once you have reached your first goal set another one and keep on striving to meet them.
Lesson 41 Challenge: Make a map of how you are going to reach your goal, with the date you plan to reach this goal in big letters at the top. Put it somewhere you can both see it regularly. Break it down into steps, and as you accomplish each step mark it off with a big red texta.