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Just Can't Say No
May 2009
If there's one thing that is sure to make a Cheapskate smile it is a freebie. Clothing, furniture, fresh veggies from a neighbour's garden or the odd chest of drawers picked off hard rubbish. If it's free, it's a fantastic bargain. Or is it?
The saying "a bargain is only a bargain if you want/need/will use it" applies to freebies as well as cash sales. Taking something just because it's free, or absolutely dirt cheap, isn't a good use of resources, it's just adding clutter to your home and your life.
There was a time when I would say yes please and thank you to everything that was offered to us, regardless. About 80% of it was useful: clothes for the kids, plants for the garden, books I wanted to read, toys, the odd piece of furniture, but a lot of it was wasted on us. We didn't like it, couldn't or wouldn't use it or didn't really want it. I was afraid to say no to anything offered to us in case I wasn't offered anything again. We ended up with a house and two garden sheds of stuff.
Many people have that same fear: the fear of not being offered or finding the particular free/cheap/used whatever again IF they ever need or want it. For a lot of older people it's a case of taking it when it's available because it may not be for long and I think this stems from the Great Depression/WWII when so many families had nothing, not the nothing we know today but really nothing: if they had the clothes on their backs and a roof over their heads then they were rich.
Now I have come to the point where I can safely say no to the bags of clothes, toys, books etc that are offered to me because:
a. my kids are older now and believe it or not just don't need as much stuff. They are at the point where they are looking at quality over quantity and learning quickly just how much quality costs.
b. we are also in the position now to be able to buy most things new if necessary. That would be when I can't find something we already have that will do the job, make something to do the job, find it on Freecycle or buy it secondhand.
c.I know that there are others who would be blessed by these things, really want or need them and will appreciate them. I also know that they won't be upset if I pass on their name or accept the goods on their behalf.
I am also finding as I get older that I want less "stuff" around. I have been reading up on the Amish recently and while I have no desire to live without electricity or my conveniences (there is no way I could live without at least the fridge, freezer and washing machine, oh and maybe the vacuum cleaner) I do occasionally long for less clutter, especially as I'm dusting and trying to put things away.
I love the premise "if it doesn't make me smile it shouldn't be in my home" and I am slowly, slowly (the other four members of my household aren't quite there yet, but almost) getting rid of things I don't like, want or need.
A good example is the ratty, tatty old hat rack we had in the entrance hall. I hated it, I certainly didn't smile when I saw it, but put up with it because I thought Wayne loved it. It was the first piece of furniture we bought together, so almost 20 years old. The wretched thing was falling apart, hats and caps were balanced just so and if anyone slammed the front door they would shift and the whole of the top would fall off. Turns out it was as much an eyesore to Wayne as it was to me and last week it went out on the hard rubbish. There was no way I could inflict it on another family so out it went. I smile every time I look down the hall now.
Getting to this point has been a journey. It has taken me some time to be able to say a confident "no" and be comfortable with that statement. We are all at different stages, with different perspectives on how we want to live our life. For some of us, downsizing is the ultimate goal. For others it may be filling bookshelves with books or wardrobes with clothes or even toy boxes with toys. As long as we are content and happy with what we have and confident with the decisions we make then it is right for us at this time.
The saying "a bargain is only a bargain if you want/need/will use it" applies to freebies as well as cash sales. Taking something just because it's free, or absolutely dirt cheap, isn't a good use of resources, it's just adding clutter to your home and your life.
There was a time when I would say yes please and thank you to everything that was offered to us, regardless. About 80% of it was useful: clothes for the kids, plants for the garden, books I wanted to read, toys, the odd piece of furniture, but a lot of it was wasted on us. We didn't like it, couldn't or wouldn't use it or didn't really want it. I was afraid to say no to anything offered to us in case I wasn't offered anything again. We ended up with a house and two garden sheds of stuff.
Many people have that same fear: the fear of not being offered or finding the particular free/cheap/used whatever again IF they ever need or want it. For a lot of older people it's a case of taking it when it's available because it may not be for long and I think this stems from the Great Depression/WWII when so many families had nothing, not the nothing we know today but really nothing: if they had the clothes on their backs and a roof over their heads then they were rich.
Now I have come to the point where I can safely say no to the bags of clothes, toys, books etc that are offered to me because:
a. my kids are older now and believe it or not just don't need as much stuff. They are at the point where they are looking at quality over quantity and learning quickly just how much quality costs.
b. we are also in the position now to be able to buy most things new if necessary. That would be when I can't find something we already have that will do the job, make something to do the job, find it on Freecycle or buy it secondhand.
c.I know that there are others who would be blessed by these things, really want or need them and will appreciate them. I also know that they won't be upset if I pass on their name or accept the goods on their behalf.
I am also finding as I get older that I want less "stuff" around. I have been reading up on the Amish recently and while I have no desire to live without electricity or my conveniences (there is no way I could live without at least the fridge, freezer and washing machine, oh and maybe the vacuum cleaner) I do occasionally long for less clutter, especially as I'm dusting and trying to put things away.
I love the premise "if it doesn't make me smile it shouldn't be in my home" and I am slowly, slowly (the other four members of my household aren't quite there yet, but almost) getting rid of things I don't like, want or need.
A good example is the ratty, tatty old hat rack we had in the entrance hall. I hated it, I certainly didn't smile when I saw it, but put up with it because I thought Wayne loved it. It was the first piece of furniture we bought together, so almost 20 years old. The wretched thing was falling apart, hats and caps were balanced just so and if anyone slammed the front door they would shift and the whole of the top would fall off. Turns out it was as much an eyesore to Wayne as it was to me and last week it went out on the hard rubbish. There was no way I could inflict it on another family so out it went. I smile every time I look down the hall now.
Getting to this point has been a journey. It has taken me some time to be able to say a confident "no" and be comfortable with that statement. We are all at different stages, with different perspectives on how we want to live our life. For some of us, downsizing is the ultimate goal. For others it may be filling bookshelves with books or wardrobes with clothes or even toy boxes with toys. As long as we are content and happy with what we have and confident with the decisions we make then it is right for us at this time.