Sentry Page Protection
Six Months to Becoming a Stay At Home Mum
I recently had a conversation with a working mum I know who has mentioned on many occasions that she'd like to stay home with her kids. "You're SO lucky to have been able to stay home when your kids were little. We couldn't afford to do that" she told me.
Meanwhile, in the same conversation, my friend also mentioned that she and her husband are upgrading to new cars soon and that they are going to the Goldcoast for a fortnight after Christmas.
Now it's a long time since I've had children young enough to need me to stay home with them, and yes, I was able to be at home for my children - but luck has nothing to do with it. Our family drives old vehicles, we rarely eat out, and our holidays include driving to visit family members or bush camping. We made choices to allow that - we ditched the things that weren't important to us so we could have the things that were, and that included me being at home with our children.
The choices we made to cut back on expenses and find alternative ways to supplement our income weren't easy, but we have never regretted them. I knew that I'd have years left to work outside our home - not that I planned or wanted too. And thanks to living the Cheapskates way, I don't need to.
So if you're like my friend, and wish you could be a stay-at-home-mum, be honest with yourself. When you are eighty years old and looking back on your life, would you rather remember that new car or those gorgeous shoes or the custom made drapes, or would you rather have the memories and pride of spending time with your children while they needed you? The choice is yours. There is no right or wrong answer. But I assure you that staying home is possible if that is what you really want.
If you're looking for an easy answer to staying at home, this isn't it. But if you're willing to work hard and make some trade-offs, staying home with your kids can become a reality. Here is a six month plan to help you realize your goal.
Month One: Is it what both of you really want?
Staying home with your children must be a decision you and your partner make together. Both of you will need to make changes to your lifestyle and it takes a total team effort. If both partners are supportive of the idea, staying home with your children can happen. It's important to remember that the decision to stay home is not a lifetime decision. It can be for as long or as short a time as you choose. Many mums decide to stay home until their children are in school. Discuss with each other the benefits of both working and staying at home. Don t discuss whether you can or cannot afford it. Just discuss staying home if that is what you really want. If, after one month, you still feel it is something you want, move on to month two.
Month Two: Track Your Spending
You will need to know exactly where your money is going. This means tracking every cent. Keep a notebook in your bag to keep track of small cash expenditures, money spent in vending machines, etc. Use your cheque book register to record all bank transactions (including ATM s and Eftpos) and try to avoid using the credit cards. When the month is over, analyse your spending. Look at each expense and determine which expenses you have no control over such as utility payments or your mortgage payment and which expenses you can control such as groceries and eating out. Summarize your spending in different categories such as food, car and entertainment. With this summary of your spending, move on to month three.
Month Three: Create Your Budget
Now that you've tracked your spending for a month, you should have a clear picture of where your money is going. You now have a basis to see which expenses you can cut back on and which would be eliminated by you staying home. From this, create a budget. Remember, your goal of the budget is to spend less money than you make. Even with cutting back on expenses, most couples with a family, living on one full-time salary, will need to have some additional income. Start brainstorming on ways you can earn extra money. Remember, your main job is to be with your kids. You are looking for a second job and not a career, so keep your options open. Write down everything you can think of that could help supplement your family income. Working your current job from home, selling Tupperware or Avon or even distributing leaflets are all possibilities. Have an open mind and keep your eyes open.
Month Four: Make Sure It Works
This is important. Budgets take practice and refinement to make them work. They also get easier over time. Throughout the month, continue to look for ways you can save money. This month you should also start narrowing down your ideas of ways to supplement your income. By now you probably have a good idea of how much additional income you ll need to make your budget. Look at your list of "ideas" and pick a few that would fit your family s schedule. Many stay-at-home mums find work outside the home very fulfilling. After spending the day with the kids, some adult contact is nice. And, it also gives dad some time alone with the kids.
Month Five: Make Plans For Your Change
It's now time to decide what you will be doing to supplement your income. If it is work outside your home, you ll need to start applying for jobs. If it is work from home such as selling something or networking from your current job now is the time to start planning. It's also a good idea to discuss your plans with your employer, if you haven t already done so. Its better the news of your leaving comes from you rather than a colleague. And, don t forget your budget. Continue to use it and refine it. It is critical to making your decision to stay home achievable.
Month Six: The Change
This is the month you've been waiting for. It's also the scariest. Leaving friends at work is always difficult but leaving the security of that pay packet behind is even harder. If you've made it this far, you've done your homework and you know staying at home is possible. You've figured out a way to supplement the family income and by sticking to your budget for a couple months, you've proven to yourself that your family can make it. Congratulations!
Making ends meet on one full-time income is not easy. However, nothing worthwhile ever is. Staying home is about making choices and setting priorities in your life. It is a personal decision each family needs to make. If it is something you want to do, that s great. If it is something that s not right for your family, that s fine too. Just don t let money become a barrier to staying at home. If it is something you truly want, there are always ways to make it work. Best of luck in your decision.
Meanwhile, in the same conversation, my friend also mentioned that she and her husband are upgrading to new cars soon and that they are going to the Goldcoast for a fortnight after Christmas.
Now it's a long time since I've had children young enough to need me to stay home with them, and yes, I was able to be at home for my children - but luck has nothing to do with it. Our family drives old vehicles, we rarely eat out, and our holidays include driving to visit family members or bush camping. We made choices to allow that - we ditched the things that weren't important to us so we could have the things that were, and that included me being at home with our children.
The choices we made to cut back on expenses and find alternative ways to supplement our income weren't easy, but we have never regretted them. I knew that I'd have years left to work outside our home - not that I planned or wanted too. And thanks to living the Cheapskates way, I don't need to.
So if you're like my friend, and wish you could be a stay-at-home-mum, be honest with yourself. When you are eighty years old and looking back on your life, would you rather remember that new car or those gorgeous shoes or the custom made drapes, or would you rather have the memories and pride of spending time with your children while they needed you? The choice is yours. There is no right or wrong answer. But I assure you that staying home is possible if that is what you really want.
If you're looking for an easy answer to staying at home, this isn't it. But if you're willing to work hard and make some trade-offs, staying home with your kids can become a reality. Here is a six month plan to help you realize your goal.
Month One: Is it what both of you really want?
Staying home with your children must be a decision you and your partner make together. Both of you will need to make changes to your lifestyle and it takes a total team effort. If both partners are supportive of the idea, staying home with your children can happen. It's important to remember that the decision to stay home is not a lifetime decision. It can be for as long or as short a time as you choose. Many mums decide to stay home until their children are in school. Discuss with each other the benefits of both working and staying at home. Don t discuss whether you can or cannot afford it. Just discuss staying home if that is what you really want. If, after one month, you still feel it is something you want, move on to month two.
Month Two: Track Your Spending
You will need to know exactly where your money is going. This means tracking every cent. Keep a notebook in your bag to keep track of small cash expenditures, money spent in vending machines, etc. Use your cheque book register to record all bank transactions (including ATM s and Eftpos) and try to avoid using the credit cards. When the month is over, analyse your spending. Look at each expense and determine which expenses you have no control over such as utility payments or your mortgage payment and which expenses you can control such as groceries and eating out. Summarize your spending in different categories such as food, car and entertainment. With this summary of your spending, move on to month three.
Month Three: Create Your Budget
Now that you've tracked your spending for a month, you should have a clear picture of where your money is going. You now have a basis to see which expenses you can cut back on and which would be eliminated by you staying home. From this, create a budget. Remember, your goal of the budget is to spend less money than you make. Even with cutting back on expenses, most couples with a family, living on one full-time salary, will need to have some additional income. Start brainstorming on ways you can earn extra money. Remember, your main job is to be with your kids. You are looking for a second job and not a career, so keep your options open. Write down everything you can think of that could help supplement your family income. Working your current job from home, selling Tupperware or Avon or even distributing leaflets are all possibilities. Have an open mind and keep your eyes open.
Month Four: Make Sure It Works
This is important. Budgets take practice and refinement to make them work. They also get easier over time. Throughout the month, continue to look for ways you can save money. This month you should also start narrowing down your ideas of ways to supplement your income. By now you probably have a good idea of how much additional income you ll need to make your budget. Look at your list of "ideas" and pick a few that would fit your family s schedule. Many stay-at-home mums find work outside the home very fulfilling. After spending the day with the kids, some adult contact is nice. And, it also gives dad some time alone with the kids.
Month Five: Make Plans For Your Change
It's now time to decide what you will be doing to supplement your income. If it is work outside your home, you ll need to start applying for jobs. If it is work from home such as selling something or networking from your current job now is the time to start planning. It's also a good idea to discuss your plans with your employer, if you haven t already done so. Its better the news of your leaving comes from you rather than a colleague. And, don t forget your budget. Continue to use it and refine it. It is critical to making your decision to stay home achievable.
Month Six: The Change
This is the month you've been waiting for. It's also the scariest. Leaving friends at work is always difficult but leaving the security of that pay packet behind is even harder. If you've made it this far, you've done your homework and you know staying at home is possible. You've figured out a way to supplement the family income and by sticking to your budget for a couple months, you've proven to yourself that your family can make it. Congratulations!
Making ends meet on one full-time income is not easy. However, nothing worthwhile ever is. Staying home is about making choices and setting priorities in your life. It is a personal decision each family needs to make. If it is something you want to do, that s great. If it is something that s not right for your family, that s fine too. Just don t let money become a barrier to staying at home. If it is something you truly want, there are always ways to make it work. Best of luck in your decision.